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Stupidly self conscious (40 posts)
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MackLovesChachi
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Click for profile 		I think it's pretty bullshit to put off image issues as a stigma of society, if memory serves me right you had your own set of them, Tiresias. I think that self image goes deeper than the desire to be socially acceptable or accepted. As a whole society doesn't care what you look like, because everyone is too obsessed with what they look like. Self image is much more...selfish than that, I think. It's about satisfying your own standards, which is a greasy bitch.

/rant
quote / posted 30 March 2011 4:10 PM
smurf19
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Click for profile 		I think there are layers of things that impact self image and it's not as simple as trying to tell yourself that you're awesome. It's not just how you view yourself, but also how you think others view you. Both of those things can get skewed along the way.
quote / posted 30 March 2011 4:36 PM
Tiresias
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Click for profile 		What if others tell you you're awesome?
quote / posted 30 March 2011 4:47 PM
Tiresias
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quoting: Anjali
Looking as though you haven't slept, especially at this age can make you look as though being well rested and ready to work is not a priority to you. People have asked me more than once if I had gone out the night before. Or, on the opposite end it can lead to people thinking you are not well. And getting asked if you are feeling well, or need to go home and get some rest is really annoying. Cover-up can get rid of that by hiding the skin imperfections that make people think you' haven't slept/ that you are sick. The point of coverup is not to make people find you crazy attractive, it's to make your face look completely normal.

I never said anything about extravagent makeup, just said I wanted to hide bags under my eyes, and extremely discoloured patches elsewhere on my face.

Hhhmmm. That's really too bad. Is it that you do usually get enough rest, and yet sometimes (or maybe quite often) you still seem to look tired?
quote / posted 30 March 2011 4:53 PM
69_02
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Click for profile 		its like there's two conversations here, one on self-image (generally) and one on appearance and how that impacts self-image. former perhaps better paraphrased as self-esteem. re the latter, it doesn't matter how awesome you are, ugly clothes are ugly. i think of fashion, appearance, in the same way i would any other medium of aesthetic design (obviously comes down to taste, but) what it is pleasing and what isn't. if i leave the house wearing something i just don't feel good in, it will ruin my entire day, because i'm conscious of the fact that i'm not enjoying how I look. i am well aware that if I meet friends they won't even notice what i'm wearing, but that means fuck all; i will be conscious of it.
quote / posted 30 March 2011 5:00 PM
Tiresias
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Click for profile 		Indeed. I don't tend to put on clothes that I don't like wearing, either, even if no one else were to care.
quote / posted 30 March 2011 5:09 PM
69_02
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Click for profile 		no, i don't mean that. i mean on a particular day, in a particular outfit, if it just doesn't feel like yourself, then you spend the entire day feeling not quite like yourself.

anjali have you tried mac?
quote / posted 30 March 2011 5:11 PM
Tiresias
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quoting: Daisy
i mean on a particular day, in a particular outfit, if it just doesn't feel like yourself, then you spend the entire day feeling not quite like yourself.

That's something I can certainly understand. I think. How does it contradict what I just said? Do you mean that you think you like what you're wearing at first and then later on ... don't feel that anymore?

[This post edited by Tiresias on 30 March 2011 ]

quote / posted 30 March 2011 5:15 PM
DementedLeaf
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Click for profile 		...This entire thread is confusing.
I'm, er, actually kinda a bit too intimidated by you all to say anything I actually think, but I do wonder about that last bit. I can't see a contradiction either, but I guess I must be missing something.
Daisy, will you try to explain? I'm confused!
quote / posted 30 March 2011 5:54 PM
supporter graphic  Dante
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Click for profile 		Leah. You are the most rational person I've ever met. I don't care what i'm currently doing in life as much as i appreciate our friendship. You have probably been the most stabilizing force in entirety of my life and i can't emphasize that enough. I know i'm a dick and go through long periods without talking to you but I do the same with my parents and i would say it equally upsets me. I'm sooo frustrated by my humanity that it's hard to connect with people let alone care. But you have always carried weight in my mind.

If you have issues with your body, please don't let that effect the knowledge of how important you are.
quote / posted 30 March 2011 7:21 PM
supporter graphic  Un-Jelli
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Click for profile 		Ivan- I have chronix reoccuring eczema that is triggered by stress. Add to that the fact that I often have troubles sleeping (which raises cortison, the stress hormone levels) and it doesn't really matter if I tried to get enough sleep. I will have eczema related dark spots pretty much all the time.

Although, strangely when I don't live at home, no matter how shifty my apartment/dorm, my skin has been better. I think mother dearest is the biggest stressor.

Daisy: real dispointment about MAC. Tried it a couple weeks ago, and although it was a very close match, it made my eczema worse. Oh well, I guess I can keep looking.


Leila: Don't be scared.
quote / posted 30 March 2011 8:30 PM
Secrets*Untold
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Click for profile 		I think Daisy meant that it might be an outfit you love most of the time but that particular day you don't like....and she interpreted Ivan as saying he wont wear clothes that in general he doesn't like.

Also Mack. Well said!
quote / posted 31 March 2011 2:10 AM
69_02
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Click for profile 		ha yes sorry that was confusing, i was a little drunk. what i meant was, although they could be your favourite clothes in the world, if you don't feet right in them for that particular situation, that will be something i'll be conscious of. not as in wearing a power suit to a nightclub, but more subtly; to give a more concrete example, if i know im going on a date/going to a bar with lots of flirting men, i would feel blegughgh if i wore something that *i* felt too girly in (and none of my clothes are particularly girly at all) because, well, i don't know, it would make me feel like i was perpetuating some girl-stereotype that isn't really me, despite the fact that no-one else would really notice the difference in what i was wearing because most of my clothes are sort of similar. but then the same outfit would be fine another night. bleugh yes it is kind of the same, i just mean i'm super particular about what i like and certain clothes make me feel a certain way, and if i mismatch the mood and the clothes then i just don't feel like myself.
quote / posted 31 March 2011 2:42 AM
ThePsychedelicFactory
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Click for profile 		i'm with you daisy. i never used to be like that so much, but my flatmate plans her outfit the night before, and so i've started thinking about it too. and sometimes, in the morning, the original plan just doesn't feel right. so i'll try on more than one outfit, but no, it's not what i wanna wear for the day ahead. quite often i'll put on a wash before bed because i realise that someone* i wanna wear the next day needs washing. it doesn't matter if i have other clean clothes i like, i want that thing. also, if i decide i misjudged and don't quite feel myself in the outfit, i have gone home and changed. freak ;)

*haha.. that's meant to say something, but i'll leave the typo!

[This post edited by ThePsychedelicFactory on 31 March 2011 ]

quote / posted 31 March 2011 2:47 AM
69_02
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Click for profile 		really good example of such ridiculous mood-altering tailoring: a couple months ago i had to do this sort of photoshoot/catwalk thing because i was a hair model, and i had to wear "a sexy dress and heels". there was a lot of waiting around and i was fucking bored, and though all the other girls were really nice and friendly, i couldn't really enjoy chatting to them because i felt completely awkward in myself wearing this stupid dress and ridiculous shoes. afterwards i changed straight back into my clothes, and suddenly i was more than happy to have jokes and be a regular person again.
quote / posted 31 March 2011 2:52 AM
supporter graphic  Un-Jelli
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Click for profile 		Oh man, totally how I felt for an indian formal on Friday! I had ordered this beautiful saree, and the blouse was to be stitched exactly to my specifications, and the saree itself was to be this material that just drapes really nicely and in a very flattering way. HOWEVER the website didn't deliver in time (I should be receiving it on monday) and I had to wear one of 2 sarees that my mom picked for me a few years ago when she was in india.

Now, I had told her I wanted very modern georgette sarees. So she got one, but it's light bubble gum pink and beige. NOT something I would EVER pick out, and a red and beige and gold silk saree. So 2 sarees I didn't want, and honestly I actively hate the first one.
My mother also never took my measurements and used her own to get the blouses made but told them to increase the bust. So even with my alterations to take the ribs in, they're ill fitting.

Needless to say despite all the great food, amazingly well dressed and groomed males in attendance, fantastic loking other ladies, And fun music, I was kind of pissed off the whole time because my old fashioned silk dress wasn't flattering and just annoyed me. I still danced and eventually got over it, but cloths can just make or break your moods sometimes.
quote / posted 31 March 2011 8:26 AM
supporter graphic  tripod2000
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The Grand Daddy
Click for profile 		Step 1: Find yourself a big old industrial building site
Step 2: Visit it
Step 3: Check the men staring at the woman in front of them.

Gals, you're all some kind of magic or something because when working with 1000 other guys the whole day seems so much brighter when a lady, covered from head to toe in overalls, hardhat and safety specs sidles on by.

Seriously, it's sad but truuue!
quote / posted 01 April 2011 8:14 AM
CaptainPlanet
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Click for profile 		i think i look rather stunning in high heels. i am pretty self conscious when i wear clashing colors though
quote / posted 01 April 2011 3:14 PM
cazma
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quoting: Un-Jelli
Frig I wish there was a coverup that A) matched my skintone and B) was safe to use on my skin, especially when my eczema is acting up.

But Leah, I'm totally with you in that most of the time I don't really think of myself as looking unattractive But every once in a while something will happen that makes me analyze myself to pieces.


have you tried ysl's touche eclat? it works on darker skins and it's a friggin miracle worker.

personally, i've realised that the solution to my self-consciousness is knowing myself, regular exercise, 3 litres of water a day and 9 hours of sleep a night and treating myself every now and then. it sounds ridiculously simple, but that's been my cure to a whole lotta self-consciousness. sometimes i wish my bum didn't resemble kim kardashian's or that my face didn't turn bright pink whenever i have to speak in a formal setting, but when my mind isn't running everywhere due to lack of sleep/too much sugar and i look and feel healthy, i know that i could have it a hell of a lot worse and i'm pretty lucky to be who i am.
quote / posted 03 April 2011 9:03 AM
thelostone
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quoting: Tiresias
Boys also don't care as much about the minutiae of girls' physical appearances as girls think they do...

[This post edited by Tiresias on 29 March 2011 ]



I agree with you there one hundred percent.
quote / posted 03 April 2011 9:17 AM

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