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Stupidly self conscious (40 posts)
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smurf19
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Click for profile 		Sometimes I hate being a girl. Most of the time I'm a perfectly rational, logical person. I have awesome friends who are nothing but supportive and love me and all my (numerous) flaws. And yet. Despite all this positive affirmation, I am, as the title implies, stupidly self conscious. And I've come to realize that most girls feel the same. Doesn't matter how tall, skinny, hot, smart, or how much they have their shit together, we all have these stupid anxieties. Bah
quote / posted 28 March 2011 9:13 PM
supporter graphic  Un-Jelli
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Click for profile 		I know what you mean. I saw myself in the mirrors in the elevators on my way to my desk first thing this morning, and wanted to cry because I felt like I looked 40 years old. My eyes were just SO dark and wrinkled and tired!

I seriously considered creawling under my desk for a power cry.
quote / posted 28 March 2011 9:36 PM
Tiresias
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Click for profile 		Guys have stupid anxieties too! We all do! It's normal!
quote / posted 28 March 2011 11:20 PM
supporter graphic  MajorCrash
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Click for profile 		Psh. I know everything and have absolutely no problems.
quote / posted 28 March 2011 11:25 PM
supporter graphic  Un-Jelli
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Click for profile 		Boys don't worry as much about the minutia of their physical apearance. Today I only look 34, hooray for progress.
quote / posted 29 March 2011 1:24 PM
Add_Ellen
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Click for profile 		.

[This post edited by Add_Ellen on 29 March 2011 ]

quote / posted 29 March 2011 3:11 PM
Tiresias
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Click for profile 		Boys also don't care as much about the minutiae of girls' physical appearances as girls think they do...

[This post edited by Tiresias on 29 March 2011 ]

quote / posted 29 March 2011 3:21 PM
Add_Ellen
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Click for profile 		I certainly don't think it's a naturalised girl/boy thing, but I guess that society puts more pressure on women to adhere to a strictly formed way of being attractive.

I'm sorry you lack confidence, I do too. I find the best way to overcome it is to just jump head first into the things you think you might want to do.
quote / posted 29 March 2011 3:44 PM
Tiresias
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Click for profile 		What exactly is "society"? Aren't we all part of it, and don't we have a say in what its message is?
quote / posted 29 March 2011 4:05 PM
LemonDaisy
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Click for profile 		This past year I have adopted a new rule. I'm not allowed to examine my face closer than another human would. I'm not allowed to stare at myself in lighting brighter than wherever I am going. Because obsessing is no fun. In a way I'd rather look less than stellar but feel better, rather than making sure everything is perfect and being nervous the whole time.
I will never look like anyone else but me.

Re: society, sure we do. But it's not easy to stop perpetuating a message that is deeply internalized.
quote / posted 29 March 2011 5:03 PM
smurf19
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Click for profile 		Yeah, I don't actually obsess on a daily basis about it, but sometimes circumstances really bring it to light. I was involved with someone and they ended it and logically, I can say, oh, it was fun while it lasted. But then the doubt comes and I begin to question things and the body image bullshit comes up.
quote / posted 29 March 2011 7:45 PM
Brutal+Unicorn
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quoting: LemonDaisy
This past year I have adopted a new rule. I'm not allowed to examine my face closer than another human would. I'm not allowed to stare at myself in lighting brighter than wherever I am going.


I need to make myself do this. I stare at my face and pick at it and obsess over it closer than anyone else would really get, or look. I think that's why my paintings are so fucked up.

In the end, I guess I only super worry about these things when I don't have more pressing things to attend to. But I still find time every day to look in the mirror, "Like, really? Seriously?"
quote / posted 29 March 2011 8:46 PM
misadventure_
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Click for profile 		I always try to remind myself that Im my own worst critic. I just think, well, I think I look like crap, but the person next to me probably thinks I look like 3x better than what I think i look like and I try to analyze it like that.
... When I put my makeup on, I think Im so hot I could model. Minute I take it off, im like NOPE. UGLIES. I only feel confident when Im wearing makeup. Ill go out of the house and do things without makeup because well I dont plan on picking any one up ever but yeah, i pretty much only feel like I can take on the world with my coverup. i dont want any one to see acne scars thx.
quote / posted 29 March 2011 9:57 PM
supporter graphic  Un-Jelli
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Click for profile 		Frig I wish there was a coverup that A) matched my skintone and B) was safe to use on my skin, especially when my eczema is acting up.

But Leah, I'm totally with you in that most of the time I don't really think of myself as looking unattractive But every once in a while something will happen that makes me analyze myself to pieces.
quote / posted 29 March 2011 10:38 PM
Tiresias
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Click for profile 		Frig. You're all beauties just the way you's been made, with and without makeup.
quote / posted 29 March 2011 10:56 PM
supporter graphic  Un-Jelli
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Click for profile 		I love you Ivan, but every time I hear someone say something along those lines it makes em want to smack them.

Sometimes, it's not about other people finding you attractive or not. Sometimes you just want to avoid looking like you just went on a 48 hour bender because you feel like you look as though you take your job less seriously. Looks matter, and looking polished is often perceived as a sign that you care about the place you are in.


Also, fuck individuality, and how everyone has a type. Sometimes I just want to look like the more universal standard of beauty. And I am going to keep looking for makeup that will allow me to attain that.
quote / posted 30 March 2011 7:06 AM
Brutal+Unicorn
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Click for profile 		You're on the right track baby, you were born this way.

I love the blatant honesty of your most recent post, Anjali.
quote / posted 30 March 2011 8:15 AM
my#11
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Click for profile 		Ignoring the fact that camp is a massive confidence booster and a safe place for me; it's also where I was forced to come to terms with my relationship with makeup. It's fucking impossible to put on much less wear makeup on a daily basis there and as a result I had to get used to what I look like without makeup, or flattering (or pretty) clothes...or showers.
When I'm at school, I occasionally feel exactly what you described Anjali. But I also think that a lot of appearance is based on the energy a person is projecting. Even if there isn't a whole lot of energy, fake it till you make it is something I live by.
quote / posted 30 March 2011 9:19 AM
Tiresias
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quoting: Anjali
Sometimes, it's not about other people finding you attractive or not. Sometimes you just want to avoid looking like you just went on a 48 hour bender because you feel like you look as though you take your job less seriously. Looks matter, and looking polished is often perceived as a sign that you care about the place you are in.

That makes sense, but you can still look like you care about your job by being clean, having neat hair, wearing clothes that fit you well but are comfortable, and projecting the sort of energy Hannah is talking about by standing tall with your shoulders back and your eyes focused and determined.
At least I'd like to think so. Is this not enough at your workplace? Are makeup and tight clothes actually required?

I'm not against makeup and fancy uncomfortable clothes and trying to look completely fabulous, but I see such things as occasional fun forays into what's basically a performance, and not necessarily someone "looking their best."
quote / posted 30 March 2011 12:33 PM
supporter graphic  Un-Jelli
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Click for profile 		Never made mention of tight clothing, but I'm sure that's a broader statement.


Looking as though you haven't slept, especially at this age can make you look as though being well rested and ready to work is not a priority to you. People have asked me more than once if I had gone out the night before. Or, on the opposite end it can lead to people thinking you are not well. And getting asked if you are feeling well, or need to go home and get some rest is really annoying. Cover-up can get rid of that by hiding the skin imperfections that make people think you' haven't slept/ that you are sick. The point of coverup is not to make people find you crazy attractive, it's to make your face look completely normal.

I never said anything about extravagent makeup, just said I wanted to hide bags under my eyes, and extremely discoloured patches elsewhere on my face.
quote / posted 30 March 2011 1:26 PM

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