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Should Black women take a Lesson from white women? (44 posts)
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viajera
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Click for profile 		this white women wants to know why black men love white women so much.



Dear Jamie:
I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I
am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated
and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female's attitudes about
our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst
Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud,
too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much
excess baggage. Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was
constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give
me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men,
why don't they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the
dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like
to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by
them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles
Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams,
Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba
Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne,
Wesley Snipes...I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry
and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women
because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from
us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men,
let me know.
Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA.

RESPONSE:

Dear Jamie:
I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White
Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I
graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a
Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a
major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to
be among the ranks of successful black men.
I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want
to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the
day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was
because they were considered easy. The black girls in my neighborhood were raised
in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and
whom they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would
look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they
turned to the white girls.
Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because
they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of
insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by
the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more
successful than us, make more money than us, and drive nicer cars and own
bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile
woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous black men and
they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their
white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White
Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women. Brothers like
Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Bill Cosby, Morris
Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel
L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women. And, to flip the
scrip, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who
openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert
DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.
I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed. Stop
thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess.
Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were
ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of
Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs.
Read your history! It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and
season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to praise your
children. It was black women who were breast-feeding and raising your
babies during slavery. It is the black woman that had to endure watching their
fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black
women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a
woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!
It is because of the black women's strength; elegance, power, love
and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not
just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the
fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, and colors and shades that I
love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women.
Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their
ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what
they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their
highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in
love with black women. I honestly believe that your anger is geared more
toward jealousy and envy than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why
do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so
proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin?
Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and
dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think
that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black
woman has.
BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over
and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for
a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children.
Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am
looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not
and CANNOT fit the bill. No offense taken, none given.

Signed,

Black Royalty


i didnt post this to offend anyone just to get a little discussion going. i found it on a community i am a member of on livejournal.
quote / posted 28 February 2004 12:14 AM
MaybeTomorrow...
Inactive Both of those people kind of bug me. Does it matter who you date? What colour they are, or their background? I don't really see why it matters. Maybe I'm naive, but I don't get it. It doesn't matter to me why people date who they do. You don't choose who you fall in love with. (At least that's what I believe.)
quote / posted 28 February 2004 12:24 AM
shadedlife
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Click for profile 		i'm with you on that one, MT.
quote / posted 28 February 2004 12:44 AM
viajera
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Click for profile 		i agree aswell.

but the composure and compassion of that man blew me away. he is very well spoken and i respect that.
quote / posted 28 February 2004 12:49 AM
twelve:twenty
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Click for profile 		Cool, a debate over a stereotype between two people who are both prejudiced, rude, and idiotic! After carefully considering who was stupider, I've decided it's the second guy, for reasons including:
a) Hatshepsut wasn't black, she was Egyptian, and she ruled as a MALE, not as a Queen. I'm defining black here as being mainly sub-Saharan African in ancestry. I don't know about the other queen the guy mentions but I'm fairly sure she didn't teach white women how to cook. If there's some kind of worldwide "my race cooks better than your race" contest, I'm pretty sure the Indians have everyone schooled anyhow.
b) I haven't met that many white women who I'd describe as "docile" or "easy to control" compared to black women
c) Assuming white people tan because they want to be black is idiotic, although I'll admit that Paris Hilton is really getting there. White people tan because it's fashionable.

Regarding both of their comments, I don't know what the fuck their problems are. Let people date who they want to date! Personal taste is personal taste... bitching at each other sure isn't going to change that. Listing off black celebrities who dated or didn't date people of a certain race is ridiculous, also. "WELL DAVID BOWIE IS MARRIED TO A BLACK WOMAN OMG!" "YEAH WELL THE DARTH VADER GUY MARRIED A WHITE CHICK!" Who cares!

No gender of any one race has defining characteristics. You can't say "All white girls are easy", or "Black women are bitchy and fat" or "My black Queens are graceful and have fortitude and overcome obstacles etc. etc." Everyone is different, and both of these people are really missing the point. I hope neither of them pass on their faulty genes.

[This post edited by tigerlily on 28 February 2004 ]

quote / posted 28 February 2004 1:00 AM
shadedlife
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Click for profile
quote:
If there's some kind of worldwide "my race cooks better than your race" contest, I'm pretty sure the Indians have everyone schooled anyhow.

but of course, our curry is kick ass.
quote / posted 28 February 2004 1:09 AM
viajera
(145k) Loved
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Click for profile 		that is why i liek the caribbean. a mix of all the good dishes. curry (india) then things from europe, africa,spanish cultures. the caribbean rawks!
quote / posted 28 February 2004 1:14 AM
MaybeTomorrow...
Inactive My friends husband is from Jamaica...I love it when he cooks. So yummy...
quote / posted 28 February 2004 1:17 AM
viajera
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Click for profile 		i am part jamaica throw my mom. but my mom doesnt cook jamaican. she is amerian etc etc blah blah. but her relatives they cook very jamaican when they want to. and that shit is too spicy and peppery for me.

one of the girls who co hosted my radio show with me was indian/trinidadian. forget that shit. we went to her house to eat once. my tongue was never the same. that shit had like 40 different peppers in it. I cant stanh hot food.
quote / posted 28 February 2004 1:32 AM
MaybeTomorrow...
Inactive I love spicy...
quote / posted 28 February 2004 1:33 AM
twelve:twenty
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Click for profile 		Mmm, me too... spicy spicy yum.

I made Indian food last night! It wasn't as good as the Indian food at my takeout place in Vancouver, though Sad!

Sigh... I really need to somehow obtain their saag aloo recipe.
quote / posted 28 February 2004 1:36 AM
viajera
(145k) Loved
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Click for profile 		u live in vancouver tiger. i am jealous. i really wanna visit there one day soon.
quote / posted 28 February 2004 1:40 AM
viajera
(145k) Loved
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Click for profile 		double post

[This post edited by hiphopchica on 28 February 2004 ]

quote / posted 28 February 2004 1:44 AM
twelve:twenty
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Click for profile 		I don't live in Vancouver anymore Sad! I moved to Montreal and will be here for the next two years, minus about 7 months of vacation time.
quote / posted 28 February 2004 1:48 AM
Azden
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Click for profile 		my honey is a jappy...and sadly enough, he does fit the stereotype of being good in bed :-P

anyway, on a more serious note, i can see the argument from both sides. black women do tend to be louder and more self expressive than white women, and that could be either intimidating OR annoying to black men, or men in general. maybe some black men like white women because they're different...like me and moto...i like him not only because he's different, but it is fun. and, i'm white, and not easy to control at all. i guess its just that black women are more vocal about their independence than us whites. i can't say that they shouldn't be, since its been such a short time that they've even had the opportunities they do. and, in all reality, i thought color didn't matter in our world today...people are people, and all have different attitudes, no matter what they are.
quote / posted 28 February 2004 1:58 AM
viajera
(145k) Loved
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Click for profile 		these people seem to be older. i know in our generation especially it is alot easier to do the inter racial thing since many of us grew up, are close friends and went to school with people of different ethnic backgrounds. it isnt anything strange to us.
quote / posted 28 February 2004 2:25 AM
Azden
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Click for profile 		yes, that is true, its a lot easier for people to date someone of an opposite race now...i'm happy for that. i have 2 cousins, both around 35 that have married black people, and it makes it a lot easier for me, because my family and extended family has been really shitty about that, saying that white people should marry white people etc. but yeah, since they paved the road a little for me, perhaps they won't give me and my precious harbor bomber too much trouble in the future
quote / posted 28 February 2004 11:58 AM
Alcinoos
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Click for profile 		Both writers are equally stupid.
quote / posted 28 February 2004 12:08 PM
epitaph
Inactive i like women
quote / posted 28 February 2004 12:10 PM
Charli
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Click for profile 		"A lot of brothers date white women because
they are docile and easy to control"

Ermmmmmmm excuse me, easy to control?!

Cheeky sod!
quote / posted 28 February 2004 1:14 PM

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