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Forum Index > Pastimes & Pop Culture > Books
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an excerpt from "The Vagina Monologues," (23 posts)
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whimsical violence
Inactive "Hair"

You cannot love a vagina unless you love hair. Many people do not love hair. My first and only husband hated hair. He said it was cluttered and dirty. He made me shave my vagina. It looked puffy and exposed like a little girl. This excited him. When he made love to me, my vagina felt the way a beard must feel. It felt good to rub it, and painful. Like scratching a mosquito bite. It felt like it was on fire. There were screaming red bumps. I refused to shave it again. Then my husband had an affair. When we went to marital therapy, he said he screwed around because i wouldn't please him sexually. I wouldn't shave my vagina. The therapist had a thick German accent and gasped between sentences to show her empathy. She asked me why i didn't want to please my husband. I told her I thought it was weird. I felt little when my hair was gone down there, and i couldn't help talking in a baby voice, and the skin got irritated and even calamine lotion wouldn't help it. She told me marriage was a compromise. I asked her if shaving my vagina would stop him from screwing around. I asked her if she'd had many cases like this before. She said that questions diluted the process. I needed to jump in. She was sure it was a good beginning.

This time when we got home, he got to shave my vagina. It was like a therapy bonus prize. He clipped it a few times, and there was a little blood in the bathtub. He didn't even notice it, 'cause he was so happy shaving me. Then, later when my husband was pressing against me, i could feel his spiky sharpness sticking into me, my naked puffy vagina. There was no protection. There was no fluff.

I realized then that hair is there for a reason---it's the leaf around the flower, the lawn around the house. You have to love hair in order to love the vagina. You can't pick the parts you want. And besides, my husband never stopped screwing around.

-----

i think the monologues in this book are all very poignant and at the same time can really make me laugh. has anyone else read it or seen this performed?
quote / posted 01 July 2002 12:22 AM
Jubei
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Click for profile 		I was flipping through the book in the bookstore and that was the single entry that I read. Funny you should post it.

I've been planning on seeing VM for awhile now...I really liked that excerpt.

------------------
There is a man in your closet.

http://www.latchbox.com
[Hot design, sexy hostees, a buzzable business.]

quote / posted 01 July 2002 12:38 AM
whimsical violence
Inactive well, in VM all vagina issues are addressed, but this one pertains to me specifically since i personally don't shave any part of my body as part of my own way of trying to achieve true self-esteem. i love the line, "you can't pick the parts you want" because that is a total contradiction and rejection of our bullshit western capitalist sexual values that ultimately objectify women and allow us to only understand a good/attractive woman as being an assemblage of good parts, like a fucking car or something.
quote / posted 01 July 2002 12:46 AM
Jubei
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Click for profile 		You're right, it was a good line. The part that struck me was how her husband got off on her vulnerability, the lousy bastard.

Theater Neo did a bunch of chick monologues called Girls Talk, awhile back too. I read a couple of their monologues and liked them as well. Just wanted to mention...

------------------
There is a man in your closet.

http://www.latchbox.com
[Hot design, sexy hostees, a buzzable business.]

quote / posted 01 July 2002 1:11 AM
Dolphinia
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Click for profile 		This I liked.
Rude fucking husband bastard though.
quote / posted 01 July 2002 2:04 AM
highcraze11
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Click for profile 		i think she should have made the man shave too....personal revenge
quote / posted 01 July 2002 2:10 AM
Dolphinia
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Click for profile 		I have shaved it all off, ONCE! It fucking hurt when the hair started growing back, so I know what the woman's talking about!
quote / posted 01 July 2002 2:14 AM
imdbest
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Click for profile 		ya, i don't like shaving either.... around it maybe, that makes a little sense, then it's kind of cute and tidy (i keep it trimmed) but really, shaving it is wierd and uncomfortable, i completely agree with the lady who wrote that.
and i also think that husband was an asshole. it was sick how he did that to her *shudder*
eeeh.

------------------
we've got a blind date with destiny...
and it looks like she's ordered the lobster.

quote / posted 01 July 2002 4:37 PM
twelve:twenty
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Click for profile 		i've shaved a few times. you can actually stop the ingrown hairs by using roll on unscented deodorant... or so a stripper told a contributor to jane. i tried it and it seemed to work.
i don't like the shaving though. i feel about 7... i don't like it. vulnerable.
quote / posted 01 July 2002 4:42 PM
twelve:twenty
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Click for profile 		yeah, her husband was an ass. and her therapist. good lord. i wonder how old the woman was...
quote / posted 01 July 2002 4:45 PM
dee20
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Click for profile 		I shaved once just to see how it would look. When I was finished I was like "what the hell did i just do."
It itched like hell and you couldn't really scratch it when i wanted to. And like the excerpt said i felt like a seven year old. The hair is supposed to be a sign a maturity but we (because what others tell us) feel the need to get rid of it.
NEVER AGAIN

[This post edited by dee20 on 01 July 2002 ]

quote / posted 01 July 2002 4:50 PM
imdbest
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Click for profile 		ya i know, i expected it to look not that bad, like the porn people. and even some of my friends told me they shave, so i thought why not? i thought it wouldnt' be so bad. errrrr, it is that bad. it's still growing in, like you said, it itches all the time, and it hurts like hell when i scratch it.
quote / posted 01 July 2002 4:51 PM
twelve:twenty
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Click for profile 		shaving is bad. though i never got much of the ingrown hairs. actually, my ingrown hairs never itch. they get a bit red and eventually i pluck them.
i know! how can pornstars look sexy with the shaved-ness while normal people look so childish?
if i could get some brazen-ness, i'd go for a brazilian and have the outer lips waxed. but leave almost everything up top.
quote / posted 01 July 2002 4:55 PM
Ack!Egads!
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Click for profile 		jackass husband+therapist
quote / posted 01 July 2002 5:20 PM
Dolphinia
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Click for profile 		It's called the porn stars have bad lighting so they look better, and the pictures are airbrushed.
quote / posted 01 July 2002 9:02 PM
Asheebabe269
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Click for profile 		Okay...i shave mine...and it doesn't do any of that stuff....my boy friend likes it better....and i think i do also...but i think that u should do it 4 you, not ur husband or boyfriend
quote / posted 01 July 2002 9:43 PM
Kuma
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Click for profile 		A friend of mine performed in a local production of VM, and she did that exact monologue. Cool.

I unfortunately didn't get to see the show, as I had other plans, but I want to catch it when the "official" show comes to town.

------------------
-St. Kuma, patron saint of winky faces

quote / posted 01 July 2002 9:55 PM
imdbest
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Click for profile 		ya, for me... i'm keeping my pubes (how unsettling does that sound) ya, it really pisses me off, those damn porn people looking so much better eerrr. i wonder if there is some kind of secret, or maybe they are all grown on a secret farm... what i wouldn't give to find that farm *mind wanders in perversion*

ya, i know almost nothing about the VM only i've heard of them and i thought they seem interesting. i'd be interested to find out more about them, because they do make me laugh and i like how open modern women (and girls) are about sexual things like this.
quote / posted 03 July 2002 3:41 AM
tripod2000
Inactive I'm going to see this in London i'll tell thee when and what it was like.
quote / posted 08 July 2002 2:59 PM
-ooops-
Inactive Oh my God, forums on nipples and vaginas? what's happened?!
quote / posted 08 July 2002 3:02 PM

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